Well, sadly my beautiful dog of 12+ years was recently diagnosed with cancer–just about EVERYWHERE in his lovely, large body. I knew something was wrong but I had no idea the extent. I started a new blog, The Zolton Chronicles: The Last Days with my Canine Companion as to document the dying process and the grief that goes along with it. I’m shaking so hard that I can hardly write but I know I need to. As if losing my most wonderful father last year, wasn’t enough, this reality seems to have magnified the severe grief that hasn’t yet assuaged itself. The thought of publicizing the demise of my dog (and me, obviously) kept me from attending to the movie last night; had me spacing out in church today and has pretty much consumed me for the past 10 days. But as I searched the net yesterday, it became very clear that there was no blog, at least one that I could locate, which would shed light on, not only the emotional roller coaster I am about to embark, but sane solutions to dealing with the physicality of the disease–e.g. when to know he is experiencing pain and how to know when to lovingly end that pain. What I did find on the internet, were many, many deeply affected people, crying their hearts out looking for answers and solutions and damn scared to make the decisions of which they were confronted. I’m not trying to sensationalize anything, but rather, I’m trying to find healing for myself in the process of writing….my style is very unfiltered, you will see. I thought you might want to take a look: http://thezoltonchronicles.wordpress.com/ realizing it is very new and not very spiffed up yet (nor will it be) as I’d rather put my energies into research and psychic repair. Perhaps my words will touch you or a friend. If it’s something that resonates, please check back frequently, as it’s bound to evolve daily. It’s my way of icing the cake which was LIFE with a beautiful, lovely, sensitive companion and hopefully offering a tribute to him as well, Zolton (the Wonder Dog) Shelly-Pektor. It’s amazing how derailed I have become and I’m hoping to share plenty of insights as I go on my journey of how to cope with this major life change and how to handle the dog, kindly, lovingly and with utmost sensitivity.
I’m hoping to keep this blog reserved more for my musings on life (and art) yet isn’t it all related?